More macros and shit!

If you thought this was going to be some non food/ exercise related blog... Exit now. Maybe next time.  Yea.... So about that last macro post.. You know the one where I'm all like "FUCK macros, I'm living life !"  ? That lasted approximately 2 weeks... Yep 2.

Hi ho hi ho... Back to counting I go. I decided to commit but not obsess.. Why bother you ask? Well cause I have goals.. DUH! Was it easy? I've done much harder things! Was it a pain in the ass? Did it require extra planning? Uh... Yeah! Have you ever heard the saying... "The best things in life don't come easy" or  how bout "great things happen OUTSIDE your comfort zone"  or what about Theodore Roosevelt's quote " Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty"???? 

All valid..... If it were EASY we would all be doing it. So I put on my granny panties.... Oops, I mean big girl panties and forged ahead. I did not obsess about the numbers but I planned to meet them pretty easily. I enjoyed froyo, pizza, and the occasional adult beverage. Did it require sacrifice? I guess you could say so... Eating lean protein almost all day so I could enjoy pizza with my family is a sacrifice I guess. But I'm sure there are worse things. 

So ..... Where the fuck am I going with this post..... Oh  let me take a selfie 
Down 5.6 lbs in 4 weeks. 

  
To wrap this blog up... If you want it bad enough ... You will have to work for it! Did I go 2000 over in calories today before I wrote this.. Yes! Did I just gain over 1/2 pound... Yes! Does shit happen? Yep! I totally blame hormones!!!! They will make me hungry and doubt my plan.. Every... Damn... Time. Back on the wagon tomorrow! Far from done! 😘😘

BAD MOODS AND SUCH

I've been in a super ill mood lately! Does this ever happen to you? If not, CONGRATS !!!; you're NOT  a normal fucking human being. Some people scream when they're having a bad day, some work out, some drink, some eat, some cry.... you're getting the point right? While I do some of these, I mainly just shut down.  That's right.. SHUT THE FUCK DOWN.  NO, I don't want to text, talk, or write.  I don't want people to come over. I just want to sulk... by myself. It gives me time to reflect on what's causing me to be in a mood and it also saves others from being a victim of my bad mood.

I try to be a positive person and believe me this takes A LOT of effort on my end. I feel being negative is a learned behavior which then turns in to a habit and well we all know.. Habits are bitches to break!!! So here I sit writing this blog to tell the world... I'm in a bad mood.. but hey, this too shall pass!!!!

Crazy Ramblings... back into blogging

Damn... I haven't blogged in over a year. A whole damn year!! So some might ask why I fell off the blogging wagon while others could care less.:) I've started thousands (OK, slight exaggeration) of new posts but havent been able to go through with posting any of them. So here is attempt 1,001.

I've been a hott mess most of this year in terms of which direction I see myself going. In relation to fitness, family, friends, and career. A HOTT MESS. I have tried repeatedly to get my shit together and focus but that in itself has become an issue. Ive focused on the wrong things for too long and the right things even less. You following?

Fitness... Um..... Yeah.... Lets just start with that.

Working out for me has NEVER been a problem. I LOVE it, and I'm not just saying that. I truly do enjoy lifting weights and getting my sweat on. I miss it and get grumpy when I am not able to hit the gym because of life. So what's the problem???  FOOD,  I also really LOVE food... maybe too much but who doesn't? We are a society that bases EVERYTHING on food. I started this journey a year and a half ago and initially it was really easy. Workout and log calories.. Hooray! Weight loss. Then I attempted a whole 30 challenge.. If you're not familiar with this,  Its 30 days of NO processed food.

*No Grains
*No Dairy
*No Chocolate
*No Alcohol.

Whats left you ask?? Meat, veggies, and fruit. Did it, lost inches and weight and felt AMAZING. I remember thinking.. Holy hell, who knew that diet could really affect your energy level, your skin, your hair, your attitude. WHO KNEW. I was convinced I would never go back to eating processed shit with 1,000 cancer causing agents EVER  again. BUT.... I did. Do you want to know WHY? Google and Social media overtook my fucking brain... and I started getting serious about weight lifting and began to think  about doing a fitness competition. If you know anything about the bodybuilding industry, you know there is a shit ton of info available... most of which conflicts. One thing I've found... Protein is SOO IMPORTANT in order to build muscle. How would I know if I was eating enough?... enter IIFYM

IIFYM.. If it fits your macros. A macro is either protein, carbohydrate, or fat.. Instead of just tracking calories.. You track grams of these things.. and the ratios matter when it comes to body composition. Sure, you can lose weight based on calories in and calories out but making sure these macro nutrients are at ideal numbers will really change your body composition...
ARE YOU TIRED OR CONFUSED YET??? YEAH, ME TOO... WELL MOSTLY JUST TIRED.

Fact is, Ive gotten so used to playing this number game, I drive myself crazy. If you're type A like me, you have to do EVERYTHING right. I want the numbers to line up right so I become a little uh... neurotic.. obsessed... OCD.. whatever you want to call it, you get the point. Does being an insane number nazi wreak havoc on my friendships, family time, and my self worth? YES, it does. Ask Jason how many times I have freaked the fuck out on him for not weighing something or adding a sauce that I didn't account for!! My kids know what MFP is! They know what a carb, protein, and fat are. Sad but true. Let me go over these SAID numbers or not be able to find the nutritional value on something and it will ruin my day faster than anything you've ever seen... in fact on occasion it has ruined my week, which then leads me to self sabotage..... and I am not proud of any of these things. In fact, they sadden the fuck out of me.

So here I am.... trying to give up the numbers game, and its hard as fuck. Life should not be about numbers. It shouldn't be about the number of cars you have, the number of times you attended church, the number on the scale, the number on that little tag inside your jeans, or the number of grams of protein I ate today. You cant obtain a fitness competitor's body without being a number and food nazi. Show me one who's not and I will prove you wrong. The level of dedication and sacrifice they put forth to look a certain way is admirable.. but there is a time and place for all that. Until, I decide and commit to compete, I will have no abs, and my muscles will be that of every other average person that works out. I will continue to eat healthy because that's when I feel my best.. But fuck... its time to put this shit to rest. :)