My BC/AC Personality Disorder.

I never thought growing up would be so hard, after all we dream about it from the time we  learn to play house. How many times do you remember saying to your parents..."I cant wait till Im an adult!", "I cant wait to move out of this house". We have all said it and at the time we really meant it. Then eventually it happens. LIFE happens. We are forced to get "real" jobs to pay our "real" bills. We fall in love, get married, and have children, not always in that order. :) Out of all these, children change our lives profoundly! We become role models to these awesome little beings. They watch every move we make, they hear every word we say, and we have a responsibility to society to not raise them to be disrepectful little brats.(Obviously some of us parents are better at this than others) I for one, have taken my job as a parent very seriously...dare I say too seriously.

I admit, Im a little extreme. I will sacrifice my happiness if I feel it is not condusive to my role as a mother. Repeatedly doing this has left me feeling pretty torn. I think every mother is essentially composed of two parts, BC and AC. (Before Children and After Children). While I LOVE being a mom, there are times I would just like to be that person I was before children. That person is not better or worse than the person I am today, its just a different person. A less responsible, more of a good time, kind of person. A person who doesnt really care if dinner is on the table before 6pm. A person who doesnt worry about the hangover I might ensue from a night of drinking. So Is it possible to be both?? Thats the question I find myself revisting. I have always believed the answer was NO. Once you become a mother there is no turning back. I think alot of women are feeling this way. Is it fair or necessary that we lose some of our "fun selves". I love that part of me just as much as a love being a mother.

I am a good parent, so I will ultimately lean towards my super responsible AC side. However, Im thinking I may just find a way to nuture that BC side seperately, at least some of its elements... I encourage all of you to do the same. You just never know...You may be better parents because of it!!!!! If you are already doing so...Hooray for you and please feel free to share your tips. :)

I mean really......how could I be anything less than perfect for these two crazy awesome kids. :)