More macros and shit!

If you thought this was going to be some non food/ exercise related blog... Exit now. Maybe next time.  Yea.... So about that last macro post.. You know the one where I'm all like "FUCK macros, I'm living life !"  ? That lasted approximately 2 weeks... Yep 2.

Hi ho hi ho... Back to counting I go. I decided to commit but not obsess.. Why bother you ask? Well cause I have goals.. DUH! Was it easy? I've done much harder things! Was it a pain in the ass? Did it require extra planning? Uh... Yeah! Have you ever heard the saying... "The best things in life don't come easy" or  how bout "great things happen OUTSIDE your comfort zone"  or what about Theodore Roosevelt's quote " Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty"???? 

All valid..... If it were EASY we would all be doing it. So I put on my granny panties.... Oops, I mean big girl panties and forged ahead. I did not obsess about the numbers but I planned to meet them pretty easily. I enjoyed froyo, pizza, and the occasional adult beverage. Did it require sacrifice? I guess you could say so... Eating lean protein almost all day so I could enjoy pizza with my family is a sacrifice I guess. But I'm sure there are worse things. 

So ..... Where the fuck am I going with this post..... Oh  let me take a selfie 
Down 5.6 lbs in 4 weeks. 

  
To wrap this blog up... If you want it bad enough ... You will have to work for it! Did I go 2000 over in calories today before I wrote this.. Yes! Did I just gain over 1/2 pound... Yes! Does shit happen? Yep! I totally blame hormones!!!! They will make me hungry and doubt my plan.. Every... Damn... Time. Back on the wagon tomorrow! Far from done! 😘😘

BAD MOODS AND SUCH

I've been in a super ill mood lately! Does this ever happen to you? If not, CONGRATS !!!; you're NOT  a normal fucking human being. Some people scream when they're having a bad day, some work out, some drink, some eat, some cry.... you're getting the point right? While I do some of these, I mainly just shut down.  That's right.. SHUT THE FUCK DOWN.  NO, I don't want to text, talk, or write.  I don't want people to come over. I just want to sulk... by myself. It gives me time to reflect on what's causing me to be in a mood and it also saves others from being a victim of my bad mood.

I try to be a positive person and believe me this takes A LOT of effort on my end. I feel being negative is a learned behavior which then turns in to a habit and well we all know.. Habits are bitches to break!!! So here I sit writing this blog to tell the world... I'm in a bad mood.. but hey, this too shall pass!!!!

Crazy Ramblings... back into blogging

Damn... I haven't blogged in over a year. A whole damn year!! So some might ask why I fell off the blogging wagon while others could care less.:) I've started thousands (OK, slight exaggeration) of new posts but havent been able to go through with posting any of them. So here is attempt 1,001.

I've been a hott mess most of this year in terms of which direction I see myself going. In relation to fitness, family, friends, and career. A HOTT MESS. I have tried repeatedly to get my shit together and focus but that in itself has become an issue. Ive focused on the wrong things for too long and the right things even less. You following?

Fitness... Um..... Yeah.... Lets just start with that.

Working out for me has NEVER been a problem. I LOVE it, and I'm not just saying that. I truly do enjoy lifting weights and getting my sweat on. I miss it and get grumpy when I am not able to hit the gym because of life. So what's the problem???  FOOD,  I also really LOVE food... maybe too much but who doesn't? We are a society that bases EVERYTHING on food. I started this journey a year and a half ago and initially it was really easy. Workout and log calories.. Hooray! Weight loss. Then I attempted a whole 30 challenge.. If you're not familiar with this,  Its 30 days of NO processed food.

*No Grains
*No Dairy
*No Chocolate
*No Alcohol.

Whats left you ask?? Meat, veggies, and fruit. Did it, lost inches and weight and felt AMAZING. I remember thinking.. Holy hell, who knew that diet could really affect your energy level, your skin, your hair, your attitude. WHO KNEW. I was convinced I would never go back to eating processed shit with 1,000 cancer causing agents EVER  again. BUT.... I did. Do you want to know WHY? Google and Social media overtook my fucking brain... and I started getting serious about weight lifting and began to think  about doing a fitness competition. If you know anything about the bodybuilding industry, you know there is a shit ton of info available... most of which conflicts. One thing I've found... Protein is SOO IMPORTANT in order to build muscle. How would I know if I was eating enough?... enter IIFYM

IIFYM.. If it fits your macros. A macro is either protein, carbohydrate, or fat.. Instead of just tracking calories.. You track grams of these things.. and the ratios matter when it comes to body composition. Sure, you can lose weight based on calories in and calories out but making sure these macro nutrients are at ideal numbers will really change your body composition...
ARE YOU TIRED OR CONFUSED YET??? YEAH, ME TOO... WELL MOSTLY JUST TIRED.

Fact is, Ive gotten so used to playing this number game, I drive myself crazy. If you're type A like me, you have to do EVERYTHING right. I want the numbers to line up right so I become a little uh... neurotic.. obsessed... OCD.. whatever you want to call it, you get the point. Does being an insane number nazi wreak havoc on my friendships, family time, and my self worth? YES, it does. Ask Jason how many times I have freaked the fuck out on him for not weighing something or adding a sauce that I didn't account for!! My kids know what MFP is! They know what a carb, protein, and fat are. Sad but true. Let me go over these SAID numbers or not be able to find the nutritional value on something and it will ruin my day faster than anything you've ever seen... in fact on occasion it has ruined my week, which then leads me to self sabotage..... and I am not proud of any of these things. In fact, they sadden the fuck out of me.

So here I am.... trying to give up the numbers game, and its hard as fuck. Life should not be about numbers. It shouldn't be about the number of cars you have, the number of times you attended church, the number on the scale, the number on that little tag inside your jeans, or the number of grams of protein I ate today. You cant obtain a fitness competitor's body without being a number and food nazi. Show me one who's not and I will prove you wrong. The level of dedication and sacrifice they put forth to look a certain way is admirable.. but there is a time and place for all that. Until, I decide and commit to compete, I will have no abs, and my muscles will be that of every other average person that works out. I will continue to eat healthy because that's when I feel my best.. But fuck... its time to put this shit to rest. :)

Recap of Jamie Eason's Livefit

Its DONE, OVER, FINISHED!!! I completed the trainer today. Let me recap before you get the results. For those who haven't been following me, although I make it pretty hard to NOT know what I'm doing via Facebook, I embarked on a fitness program 84 days ago. I came across Jamie Easons trainer on bodybuilding.com while I was searching for a challenge. Her program consists mainly of weight training and some cardio. Her first month doesn't include any cardio at all!!!! As a former cardio junkie, I couldn't fathom not doing cardio but I did it, I trusted the program with a little help from Jason of course and followed through. 

It was challenging and tough, but completely doable. Before I knew it I was feeling pretty badass at the gym and not missing my cardio at all. I missed 2 days when I hurt my back but I repeated those days when I got back in the gym. I was determined and dedicated. I trusted the process, which was difficult at times. She recommends a diet that is basically just clean eating which I had already been doing for a month. Good carb, healthy protein, veggies, and a little fat. Before embarking on her program I was eating Paleo so I did make some adjustments and introduced grains and dairy into my diet. I also upped my protein considerably. All said and done I followed the diet 90 % of the time. I did allow myself one cheat meal which I did not count my macros or calories. I had whatever I wanted and most times this even included an adult beverage or two. 

One more thing then I will get to the progress pics, because that's really why you came to this site today. This program has taught me a lot  but I would say the MOST important things I've learned were:
1. Diet is 70% responsible for your results
2. The numbers on the scale mean nothing!! Gauge your progress with BF %, measurements, and more importantly pictures. Pictures do not lie. 
3. Work your ass off, Lift heavy weights. You should be dripping with sweat after EVERY workout. 

Now the proof is in the pics...so lets get to it

Starting weight: 151
Weight now: 143.6

Starting BF 22%
BF now 19.2%

Lost inches of my stomach, thighs,and hips. I gained an inch on my arms. :)

DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

I know! I know!! My face is hysterical in the middle one.. Like I'm going to kill your ass. Ok, so there!! Bathing suit pics like promised and you have NO idea how hard is was to post these.... so be NICE when you comment. OH, and YES I know my boobs are huge. :)

On to my next challenge.. I'm not done yet. Im about to be seriously bad ass. 

Phase 1 Completed!!

I just started Phase 2 yesterday, welcome back cardio. Phase 1 just flew by...
I was totally planning on posting some progress pics but... but... but....theres really not too much difference. I had Jason take some pics and they were at a closer angle than the before ones, Im not sure if thats whats throwing me off or its just there really isnt that much difference. My dumb ass also decided I would take before pics in a bikini. Posting the pics without seeing substantial results makes me a little nauseaous to be honest. Why did someone not tell me to wear workout gear for my before pictures? Where are all my true friends? :)

I have lost about 5-6 lbs during this Phase and I really wasnt anticipating any scale movement. I had my body fat % done today and it hasnt budged. I truthfully dont get it. When I look in the mirror, I can see muscles I havent ever seen. I am lifting as heavy as I can go and Im sore nearly every day. So honestly, I dont know what gives. My diet is clean with the exception of ONE cheat meal a week. Nevertheless... im pressing on to Phase 2. Im ecstatic to add some cardio back into my life even though I have really come to love lifting. Heres hoping for some results....

Getting ready for week 3

I'm still hanging in there! Tomorrow, I will officially be starting week 3!!! The beginning of last week was a serious struggle for me as you could probably tell from my last post. Ive come to some realizations that are making this journey a lot easier for me. The most important of which was this simple fact;  Eating clean and eating paleo are different, they are! The main difference is that clean eating includes dairy and grains which are exempt on  paleo. I really had to evaluate my goals and commit to one versus the other and based on my goals Ive chosen one... Any guesses?????

Grains are now my friend as is dairy. I know you're shocked!!! To build muscle, you have to eat ALOT of protein and I'm just unable to do so without the help of dairy and protein powders. It is what it is. I am still doing my best in efforts to be natural.. I found a whey protein that has no additives. I only choose Greek yogurt with no additives and minimal sugar. I still wont use splenda or any artificial sweeteners. I still prefer almond milk over regular milk. It actually has given me more choices when it comes to eating... and I'm totally digging that!!!

I'm eating ALOT more than I have been and dropping weight too, which I wasn't at all expecting in the first phase. I actually had Jason take a picture of me on the beach yesterday and was amazed to see such a difference compared to my "before" pictures. I'm feeling SUPER too!!! Totally digging NOT doing cardio and I'm really AMAZED at how much I'm enjoying weight lifting and I'm also super AMAZED at how strong I am. I'm already seeing results and this is totally motivating me to keep going!!!! There might even be some end of phase 1 pics coming soon.. :)

*sigh*

If you know me, I mean REALLY know me, you know that once I make my mind up about something.. I tend to get a little...well there's no nice way to say it... Obsessed. So I have become slightly (cough) obsessed with this whole Livefit trainer. I want to do well. I want to get the best results possible. I would hate to waste 90 days of my life and walk away the same or worse. This leads me to my current dilemma!!

I cant follow the diet. I just cant fathom making homemade protein bars with 1/2c of stevia, truvia, or xyitol. I cant. I cant make myself drink whey protein with a million additives in which I cant pronounce the names. I shouldn't say I cant.... I wont. In order to get optimal results, I need to increase my protein intake drastically, this is such a hard thing to do without supplementing with protein powders and bars. So I'm left wondering what to do. Eat more chicken?? Do you know how much chicken I would have to eat to get 150 grams of protein? The answer is ALOT. Ive been lagging this week on my protein, I'm only getting half of whats recommended. Ive worried about what to do and even debated drinking the whey despite the crap in it. Ive driven my husband CRAZY trying to figure out what to do. I WANT the best results possible, I want to follow the program to a T. I WILL figure out a way. It's going to be challenging but that's my goal this week.. I will get the recommended protein.. Without compromising my paleo diet. WISH ME LUCK!!!